


give it away (you end up having more)

by lynne_monstr



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Fluff and Angst, Flufftober, M/M, Magic, Warlock Culture, unless they give them away, warlocks' hearts literally calcify
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:39:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16270061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynne_monstr/pseuds/lynne_monstr
Summary: A warlock’s heart is not safe in his own chest.For over a century, Magnus has locked his heart away for his own safety. It's a cold and lonely existence, but he's never had anyone who loved him enough for him to offer it to. He hopes Alec may be the exception.Magnus patted at his chest with his free hand. “Well, you know what they say about the heartless,” he said with a lightness he didn’t feel. “As cold as we are empty.”Alec’s steps stuttered in surprise. “Whoever said that’s an idiot. You’re the fullest thing in my life.”Written for Flufftober Day 11: Heart





	give it away (you end up having more)

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone is curious, this contains talk about giving away hearts, but there's no graphic descriptions.

A warlock’s heart is not safe in his own chest.

It was an old adage, taught to every warlock child from the cradle. The fate of their kind.

Centuries of research had brought them no closer to understanding why their hearts suddenly turned to stone in their chest. Calcification, they called it. For some it happened young. A tragedy, people would whisper in the shadows, while being grateful it wasn’t them or their loved ones. Most went centuries with no sign of the ailment, only to go to sleep and never wake up.

Magnus had studied the phenomena for years, soul-sick from watching so many of his people fall ill to the ailment. It was his research that paved the way for a solution. It was both his greatest accomplishment and his greatest failure.

If a warlock’s heart wasn’t safe in their chest, they must give it away.

Eventually, entire industries sprung up. Secure facilities where a warlock could store their fragile heart. It was a cold and clinical process, leaving behind a chill that never went away. But it was better than the alternative, the ticking time-bomb of a calcified heart. Only the extremely brave (or the very eccentric) risked keeping their own hearts in their chest anymore.

The lucky ones never had to visit such places, they simply gave their heart away, kept warm and loved and cared for by another.

Magnus lived with the perpetual chill of cold storage. He had tried to give his heart away once, and it was a mistake he never intended to repeat.

The chill remained, despite the balmy heat that refused to give way to autumn’s crispness. He rubbed his hands together in a futile attempt to warm them.

“You’re always so cold,” Alec remarked, taking both of Magnus’ hands in his. Raising them to his face, he gently breathed on their joined fingers.

The warm air was a balm on his cold skin but all too soon it was gone.

Magnus smiled faintly. He never told Alec about his heart, though he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d figured it out on his own. Alec was highly intelligent, with access to the Clave’s public records on warlock afflictions and remedies. Kind and considerate as he was, he likely wouldn’t bring it up until Magnus did.

(The Clave’s official position stated that it was the demon blood that caused the heart calcification. That the warlocks’ own heritage slowly poisoned the human part of their body. A punishment from Raziel himself for wielding the power that they did.

The first time Magnus had read that particular dossier, he’d set the paper on fire.)

Around them, Prospect Park was quiet, save for the chatter of the ducks along the water. Magnus took his hands back as they continued their walk, electing instead to slip one into back pocket of Alec’s jeans.

Before he could change his mind, Magnus patted at his chest with his free hand. “Well, you know what they say about the heartless,” he said with a lightness he didn’t feel. “As cold as we are empty.”

Alec’s steps stuttered in surprise. “Whoever said that’s an idiot. You’re the fullest thing in my life.”

Warmth curled tight in Magnus’ chest as his breath caught, the way it always did when Alec said things like that. He wondered if maybe, just maybe, he had found someone who would accept the safekeeping of his heart. Who would care for it and shelter it and bring warmth back into his life.

Centuries of caution held his tongue, and he said nothing as they continued their stroll through the park and eventually stopped for a magically conjured picnic lunch.

.

(Camille had laughed in his face when he presented his heart, her voice ringing like a bell as she asked him whether he was serving her dinner. The very next day, he sought out the most expensive, exclusive facility in Paris for an immediate appointment. He’d been heartless ever since.)

.

Magnus had made up his mind, and that should have been the end of the matter. Unfortunately, the rest of him hadn’t quite gotten the fire message. For decades he had pushed any thoughts of his heart out of his mind, locked them up and thrown away the key.

They rushed back over him like a torrent.

When he was curled up on the couch with a cheap mystery thriller, Alec beside him intently studying the primer on warlock magic he’d asked Magnus for. Or on a dinner trip to Portugal, the candlelight throwing shadows against Alec’s throat as he tipped his head back and laughed.

He thought about it every time they stripped each other of their clothes, until there was nothing between them but mumbled _I love you’_ s mouthed across bare skin.

There was no escaping it.

Against all sense, Magnus wanted to give his heart away again.

.

He had it all planned. Burgers in the East Village. Drinks and billiards at a gem of a bar on Avenue B that he’d been meaning to show Alec. Lastly, a relaxing, nighttime stroll before portaling back home where Magnus would fix them both a cocktail and ask him—

“Would you be the one to hold my heart?”

And of course, Magnus managed to make a mess of it.

Water dripped in streams down his face from where he just stepped out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. The blissful heat of scalding water was already giving way to the familiar bone-deep chill.

Alec stood in front of the mirror, toothbrush in his mouth. Foam overflowed around his lips as he choked on air. Frantically, he turned the tap on, rinsing his mouth with water before turning back to Magnus.

They hadn’t even made it to dinner and the plan was in ruins.

Alec’s eyes were wide in shock and Magnus despaired.

Of course Alec wouldn’t want to take on such a heavy burden. When would Magnus stop being so stupidly impulsive? Even locked away in the highest security warlock vault money and reputation could buy, his traitorous heart managed to screw up everything.

The entire plan was a mistake. He always did this, fell too fast and too much and sent the people he loved running. And sure enough he did it again. And not in the fun Britney Spears way, he thought with an edge of hysteria. In the way that was sure to be the first fission that eventually drove he and Alec apart.

Oh, it wouldn’t happen tonight. It wouldn’t even happen this month. But surely, the weight of Magnus’ desires would become too great to bear. A stream of tiny drips that eventually eroded mountains.

The magic of his displaced heart buzzed frantically in his chest. It was a far cry from the racing heartbeat he’d never again possess, and Magnus almost crumbled.

He waved a hand, desperately trying to collect himself. “Never mind, Alexander, I shouldn’t have asked that, I’m s—”

His words ground to a halt as Alec placed a finger in front of his lips. Hovering, but not touching.

“I just—you just—I was surprised, is all,” Alec continued, a hint of color coming into his cheeks.

Magnus felt pinned in place, unable to move or speak. Is this how Alec felt that night after they healed Luke? So desperately wanting, yet fixed eternally in his own mind?

Alec’s stroked a thumb across his cheek. “You can ask me anything.”

Beyond his outstretched hand, Alec no longer looked panicked. Rather, his entire face exuded warmth and love. Hope blossomed in Magnus’ empty chest.

He let his eyes slip shut. The hand on his cheek burned like a fiery brand, cutting through his fear and his doubt. Alec had seen the worst in him before, more than once. He’d seen the ugliest parts of Magnus and still told him he was beautiful. He couldn’t understand what it was Alec saw that made him say that, but he was beginning to believe that Alec believed.

So he took a breath and asked again. “I’d like to give you my heart, if you’ll take it.”

Alec had toothpaste on his chin, but his smile was the most beautiful thing Magnus had seen. “I want every part of you. Heart included.”

In that moment, Magnus could have portaled to the moon, powered by nothing more than his love for the man in front of him.

.

The ceremony required surprising little preparation, considering how much it had changed warlock society. The final step was retrieving his heart from the facility he’d left it at over a century ago. He returned to the loft holding a specially warded box, packed away beneath additional layers of protective spells.

The magic in his chest churned in restless agitation, no doubt recognizing the heart it was tied to. It made Magnus feel restless, too. Or maybe that was nerves. He could barely remember what it felt like before he became heartless. The cold was all he knew anymore. What if giving his heart away was a mistake?

Those few warlocks that had done so described it as the height of peace and happiness to be so close to a loved one. They claimed it was a warlock’s true state to give their heart away, and that was the real reason they turned to stone otherwise. Magnus wasn’t sure he believed that, but he supposed he was about to find out.

Alec appeared in the doorway, and there was no more time for doubts.

Picking up two shot glasses from the coffee table, Magnus passed one over. If he was going to drink a foul-tasting potion, he was going to do it out of a decent glass.

“Is this going to taste as bad as that martini you made me the first time?” Alec asked, eyeing the glass and its viscous contents dubiously.

“Worse,” Magnus said cheerfully. If the night was a total disaster, at least he’d get to see Alec make his adorable alcohol grimaces.

“Lucky me,” Alec mumbled, scrunching up his face and preparing to drink.

“Cheers,” Magnus said, clinking his glass against Alec’s.

With one last look at each other, they began. It mostly consisted of Alec walking circles around Magnus as he cast a short yet intricate spell.

All too soon, it was done.

A heat blazed in Magnus’ chest where there had been nothing but ice cold for so long, pulsing as it curled around his ribs and crept down his arms and between his toes. It was a blaze he hadn’t felt since before he had paid another warlock to take his heart away, over a century ago.

Except this time it was better. His heart had found its true home.

“Oh.” Magnus gasped. and saw his awe reflected in Alec’s eyes. He could _feel_ Alec’s presence in front of himself, the new sense as strong as the sight that showed Alec in front of him, hands cupped in front of him holding Magnus’ pulsing heart.

Judging by Alec’s reaction, the new awareness was mutual.

“Bring my heart to your chest.” Magnus couldn’t muster more than a whisper. “The magic will do the rest.”

And Alec, his brave and loving Alexander, did it without hesitation.

The magic flared yellow around them, bright and blinding. When Magnus blinked away the spots from his vision, Alec’s hands were empty. His heart was nowhere to be seen. For a moment, he was terrified it didn’t work, that magic itself had deemed him not worthy of Alec’s love.

Another wave of power washed through him and he gasped. When it passed, it took the strange sense awareness of Alec with it. There was no time to be disappointed in the loss, however, because at that moment the humming of sterile magic within his chest was replaced by a steady, familiar thud.

Magnus nearly wept.

A heartbeat. His first in so, so long. He’d been missing the sensation for such a large part of his life and had been utterly convinced he would go the rest of his days empty and cold.

He hadn’t expected Alec. Alec, with his soldier’s hands and his open heart that was big enough for two. Who looked at Magnus like he was something worth cherishing. Who warmed Magnus by his very presence.

He reached out, tentatively placing his palm over Alec’s chest. The hard muscle there was achingly familiar. Magnus had traced it with his eyes and his hands and his tongue more times than he could count. But the gesture was brand new this time. His heart now beat under Alec’s strong chest, kept warm and safe by his body and his love.

The steady thud of Alec’s chest now beat in time with his own.

“I suppose it would be cliché of me to say that you hold my heart,” Magnus said, a smile stretching across his face as the reality of what they did sank in.

Alec laughed as he pulled Magnus close, fitting their bodies together. “I’d give you mine if I could.”

A wave of emotion lodged in his throat as Alec bent to place a kiss on his forehead. Magnus was used to protecting others, and bending all his considerable power to safeguard those who needed help. He wasn’t used to the feeling of being protected.

But standing safe and cared for in Alec’s arms, that’s exactly what he felt.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come find me on tumblr!  
> lynne-monstr.tumblr.com


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